'Timmy Loves Hot Dogs'

Whenever I open Google mail and try to re-remember where they hide their function keys, I think the same thing: If they'd just let me be a beta tester, I could straighten out this mess for them.A lot of people voiced similar thoughts as the "New Coke" fiasco rolled out in 1985: "I could've warned them that this would be a big mistake."Yeah, I know – everyone's an expert after the fact. But I do know that had I sat in on a focus group for poor ol' Supervalu, I would've red-flagged their new TV commercial for being completely tone deaf, shopper marketing-wise.A retail technology executive brought the ad to my attention a few weeks ago. He actually interrupted his PowerPoint to ask, "By the way, have you seen that new commercial from Jewel? They're now begging customers to come to the store." (www.youtube.com/watch?v=Djcl-3EVa20)Since I'm going to be a bit of a "mean girl" here, I want to qualify my remarks by noting that I have been a shopper at Jewel-Osco, Supervalu's Chicago banner, for almost four decades now. My first serious girlfriend was a bagger at the Jewel, my wife was a checker during college, and my mother-in-law ran a floral department for years. This chain is so culturally entrenched here that you can sometimes tell what part of town a Chicagoan hails from by the way they refer to it: "Jewel," "the Jewel," or "Jewels." I'm rooting for them. But this ad is all wrong.The ad opens as "Bob," who's some sort of manager at a neighborhood Jewel, spots a woman jogging through a park. He starts chasing her and hollering her name.Let's stop right there. Any story pitch that opens with "Guy in butcher's apron stalks woman" sounds creepy at best and like the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" at worst. But I'll grant that the commotion does capture the viewer's attention. The real problem is that the actress herself seems creeped out by "Bob" too.The jogger is "Helen," a young urban professional mom who Bob tells us is an ex-Jewel shopper. When Bob confronts Helen about where she's been shopping, she stammers uncomfortably until Bob finally says, "It doesn't matter."I think I can guess where she's been. She's tried archrival Dominick's, which is a Safeway banner, or Target, or one of the suburbs' various mini-chains. But judging by her look and demeanor, she really favors trendier formats like Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Costco, or the hottest new name in town, Mariano's Fresh Market.To entice Helen back, Bob tells her that Jewel is lowering prices on thousands of items at the store: Kraft singles … bacon … ice cream … hot dogs ....Wait … bacon? Does Supervalu really think that young, active, health-conscious mothers will be lured away from gluten-free salad bars and back onto Jewel's path to purchase via packaged meat and processed cheese? Get the feeling that co-op ad money was talking a lot louder than the trip-mission insights?Next, Bob exclaims that "Timmy loves hot dogs!" to which Helen responds (again, very uncomfortably), "Tommy … is his … name."Oh, come on. It feels like we've been scanning Jewel loyalty cards since the days of Al Capone, but now you're saying that you haven't accumulated anything useful about us? Well, whatever you do, don't tell the Millennials.Okay, I'll stop. We ex-English majors do tend to overanalyze. I suppose I'm reacting to years of shopper marketing seminars, research reports and articles that carry a common assumption: It's the vendors who have to raise their game. The chains, this thinking goes, already are bringing their A-game through new talent, technology and data. That's why the new world pecking order has the banners' brand narratives trumping everyone else's, isn't it?Evidently everyone – chains included – could benefit from a shopper marketing 101 refresher course from time to time. And at least one advertising agency, for sure.Bill Schober is editorial director of the Path to Purchase Institute. He can be reached via e-mail: bschober@p2pi.org or phone: 847-675-7400 (ext. 132).

P2PI MEMBERS

JOIN P2PI

You May Also Like

Frito-Lay Campaign Celebrates Creators

AD Retail Media’s Transition In-House